running/ramblings

Ok, I have just come here to have a whinge so if you don’t want to be dragged down with this little black duck, don’t read!!

I have lost my fecking mojo!  16 days since last run.  Yesterday was the first day I felt as though I could have gone out and maybe done a short run or at least a walk but I can’t bring myself to get into gear and go out into the cold.  I have had my 10 year old home sick all week and my 4 year old is sick this morning.  I have a fecking half marathon to train for and I feel like I am going to run out of time, shiittttttttt!!!  I was up to 12kms a couple of weeks ago and now I feel as though I will have to scale right back again, shiitttttttt!!!!  I may also lose 10 days of training in August due to going home to Perth as I am not sure if hubby is coming along at this stage.  If he doesn’t come with us, I won’t be able to run that I know  

The other thing that is really stressing me out at the moment is my sisters wedding, the one that I really don’t want any part of.  I know that sounds really mean and disgusting but I just can’t get over the fact that she started planning this not long after Dad’s death and has set the date for a week after his 1st anniversary, initially it was the date of his death.  Honestly, who does that!   It just makes me want to cry and to be honest, I am angry as hell at her, I don’t care what her reasons were for picking that date!  I am suppose to be getting a dress made as I am in the bridal party with my other sister, and because I have had my head in the sand hoping it would all go away, I now can’t find a dressmaker to make the dress.  Shit!!  We leave for Perth on the 15th August, so yes I have left it late!

I can’t actually believe it has almost been a year since my Dad died.  It feels like it was yesterday